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YGA: What are the feelings you have about being in the closet?

JAKE: It sucks because I’m having to stay in the closet in my small Georgia community. The good news is that my mom accepts me being gay and she loves me no matter what : ) The bad thing is that I can’t come out to my step-father because he is a Bible-thumper and he asks me when do I think I’m going to find a girl. I can’t tell him that I like guys because of the hell issue !!!!!!! I feel like I’m facing God’s wrathful judgment. I want to someday fully come out with no shame and know that no matter what other people think God loves me and I will be going to heaven and living eternally.

YGA: Do you feel like you are living a lie

JAKE: Everyday.

YGA: What about your friends?

JAKE: My best friend, J.W., says he has no problem with it and that we are going to still remain friends. He says he doesn’t agree with it but that doesn’t mean that our friendship is going to end.

YGA: What are you afraid of most?

JAKE: God hating me and being cast into the lake of fire (hell!). I’m afraid of the wrong people knowing that I’m gay and being physically harmed (or KILLED!) or rejected by some friends and family.

YGA: What do you wish for more than anything else?

JAKE: I wish that I could be accepted by all of my family and everyone else that is important to me in my life. I wish I could have a sense of peace and an assurance once and for all that God loves me totally and that I am going to heaven even if I am always gay.

YGA: Do you have anyone you can talk to about coming out?

JAKE: Yes, my friend, Rick! I am thankful for him because he knows what it is like to struggle with coming out. He has helped me realize that it is not your actions that get you into heaven, it is your faith in Jesus Christ that gets you there.

YGA: What do you think coming out of the closet will bring you?

JAKE: Being totally at ease with myself. Being able to have to have responsible relationships with other gay Christian folks. PEACE!!!!!!

YGA: How has the internet helped you find out about yourself and start the process of coming out?

JAKE: Both good and bad! Good because of helpful coming out sites with a positive focus. The bad thing is gay pornography.

YGA: Any other things you want to say?

JAKE: Oh yea, my friend, J.W., is extremely HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YGA: What are the feelings you have about being in the closet?

ROLAND: Well at first I loved it. It didn’t bother me at all, especially since my girlfriend was in the closet. Now that I’m single and a little older it’s annoying. Especially with all the talk about gays in the church I feel like I should stand up for others and myself but I’m still scared of persecution.

YGA: Do you feel like you are living a lie?

ROLAND: At times yeah, being dishonest to myself and others has caused me a lot of grief and makes being gay hard at times. I’ve told a few people that I’m gay to relieve myself of that burdening guilt but most of my friends still don’t know, which makes it hard at times.

YGA: Do you think your parents will take it well?

ROLAND: I’ve already told my parents that I’m gay, which was hard, cause at first I told them I was going to try to become straight and later re-canted – which didn’t go over well. My family is African American and holds strong conservative Christian feelings so they still see being gay as a “white secular problem. ” What makes it worse for them is that my brother is also gay, so it’s extremely hard for them to handle. They are more or less in denial now and it’s an issue that can no longer be brought up.

YGA: What about your friends?

ROLAND: I’ve told two college friends and they were very accepting and reassuring. I haven’t told anyone else though because I wasn’t sure how they would respond. I was thinking I would tell them after a very close friend gets married that way at least we can all go to the wedding and have fun incase friendships are ruined with this whole being out thing. Even though I don’t consider my brother a very close friend he was great when we both came out to each other and is my role model in all of this even though he is younger. He has definitely been the braver of the two of us.

YGA: What are you afraid of most?

ROLAND: Rejection and fear, especially when it comes to civil rights and the Church.

YGA: What do you wish for more than anything else?

ROLAND: For God to come down and just say it clearly what he thinks about the issue in a loud voice so everyone could hear. And if I can’t get that, then a chance at getting married someday would be nice

YGA: Do you have anyone you can talk to about coming out?

ROLAND: Yeah and online friend has really helped me out .

YGA: What do you think coming out of the closet will bring you?

ROLAND: A lot of silly questions from straight people and some strife.

YGA: How has the internet helped you find out about yourself and start the process of coming out?

ROLAND: Sometimes I think if I wasn’t for the internet I would have killed myself by now. I’m that serious. I found so many great resources and have met a lot of cool understanding people. Also it helped me find a gay support group in my area since my college doesn’t have one.

YGA: Any other things you want to say?

ROLAND: Good luck in everything you do and try your hardest to stay true to yourself. Don’t let anyone gay or straight peer pressure you into anything. Oh yeah and try not to be weak like me and come out of the closet!

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